Sketch Script - Promises
Jiles:
By the way, we’re going ahead with the campaign tax promise.
Minister:
I thought we scrapped it?
Jiles:
We did. But people got angry. So it’s back.
Minister:
But it’s completely undeliverable.
Jiles:
Yes, but it sounds good.
Minister:
It sounds…? I’m sorry. We can’t promise people that we’re going to deliver on this.
Jiles:
Why not?
Minister:
Because we can’t. No one can.
Jiles:
True. But that doesn’t really matter. Does it?
Minister:
I’m sor… I think I’m a bit confused. Why would we promise something that we can’t deliver?
Jiles:
… because it’s what people want to hear.
Minister:
Yes, but it’s not true. We won’t be able to give it to them. And when we don’t, then what?
Jiles:
Oh don’t worry about that. No one will hold the party accountable.
Minister:
Even if they don’t - what about me?
Jiles:
Well yes they COULD hold you accountable, but realistically all we need to do is blame the other party for creating road blocks and then problem solved. Do it right and they’ll blame the opposition enough that it wins us two elections.
Minister:
Right. So, let me just check we’re on the same page here. You want me to go on the radio and promise something that is completely undeliverable - but hope that people are stupid enough to buy into it because it sounds good? And then if we get elected and are unable to deliver on it, then we just say it’s the other party’s fault and double down on the fake promise? So the public blame the opposition for OUR lies?
Jiles:
The old Boris Johnson method, yes indeed. But obviously it would work just as well, even if we weren’t elected. Because then we can spend the next few years blaming the opposition for high taxes.
Minister:
Even though we’d probably end up doing the same?
Jiles:
Yes, but the people don’t know that. As long as they think we’re trying to lower them, then that’s more exes in boxes isn’t it?
Minister:
But, isn’t there a sense of being “too good to be true”.
Jiles:
Well, yes there is - but it needn’t apply in politics. At the end of day, people just want something to feel self-righteous about. We give that to them. And in turn, they give us power.
Minister:
But we don’t actually give them, what we tell them, we will give them.
Jiles:
God no, can you imagine?
